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kiyuso
☕ Partially active. Just blogging down my messy thoughts for the record and future references. Also a story writer, typically concerning my gays. I don't particularly have any interests. It's more like, if something piques my interests, I become infatuated or obsessed.


agenda
08/23 My Birthday
9/7 Hello Kitty Cafe Truck
9/28 Tour de Corgi
10/17 Brother's Birthday
10/31 Halloween
11/9 Ramen-o-Rama!
12/5 Wen's Birthday


musings
I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still. - Sylvia Plath

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  Perfectly (impossible and never)


Before, I never paid much attention to the lyrical sense of music and mostly liked a song because of the chords, instrumentals, or beat. However, recently I've been more attentive to the lyrics of songs more often than not. Going through old playlists, I've found lots of them more meaningful and beautiful because of their message and hidden meanings. Although I can just feel from the music the emotions, hearing and understanding the lyrics makes everything else almost insignificant.

So I started relating and seeing myself in almost every song I listened to, as ego-centric as that sounds. Undermine this statement or not, but it was a piece of comfort for my soul and heart—that someone could feel as I felt was a beautiful and broken thing. Beautiful in a sense that I'm not the only one, and broken that someone else had to experience or feel what I did or still do to this day. Music is almost philosophical now that I've seen it in a new light, and if that isn't just so awe-inspiring, I don't know what else comes close?

There's lots of music out there singing of love and heartbreak, but this one particular song catches all of the imperfections and sadness of a previous relationship just so perfectly (no pun intended). We're humans, and we're not perfect as much as we wish we could be. In this relationship, I may have tried to achieve a perfection impossible to achieve, especially for someone like myself. I probably deluded myself as much as I could've, but deep down, I knew it was pretty much all a lie. My partner then at that time too went along with it all for two years, a road of dreams that couldn't become a reality no matter how much we both tried. Even though I may feel bitter about it all, I'm thankful and remorseful for those two years I spent with him.

Just as I've told him over and over, "I'm letting you go 'cause you deserve better." And I really mean it. It's not lies, so don't treat them as lies. Don't look away from reality and what I see, truly see. Even if everything was a painted lie, this at the least was the truth. It wasn't perfect, but it was as perfect as it could get for the both of us. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to keep us together. It's very sad, but maybe we will both find partners that will be enough for the perfections we want as well as the imperfections we are. It doesn't just end at impossible and never.

Lyrics:

You were faithful
You were honest
You were everything I wish that I could be

You've been careful,
To show you want this
You've been everything I know I probably need

And you're never, too far away from me but somehow I'm still lonely
Well you've been perfectly lovely, perfect for someone other than me
And baby I'm sorry I've kept you
I just can't let you,
Start to forget the love that everyone should know,
So baby I'm letting you go, go, go
I'm letting you go, go, go

I've been distant
And you've been patient
You've been waiting for the girl you thought you'd seen
For an instant, I couldn't fake it, and you see right through the lie we're
living in
And I always, hope it would get this far, but somehow I'm still lonely

But you've been perfectly lovely, perfect for someone other than me
And baby I'm sorry I've kept you
I just can't let you,
Start to forget the love that everyone should know,
So baby I'm letting you go, go, go
I'm letting you go, go, go

Everybody's got the same old dream
Of a love that works out perfectly
But when one heart works while the other doesn't beat
Then love might live, but that's not how it should be

But you've been perfectly lovely, perfect for someone other than me
And baby I'm sorry I've kept you
I just can't let you,
Start to forget the love that everyone should know,
So baby I'm letting you go, go, go
I'm letting you go, go, go

Baby I' m letting you go, go, go
Letting you go, go, go, go


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