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kiyuso
☕ Partially active. Just blogging down my messy thoughts for the record and future references. Also a story writer, typically concerning my gays. I don't particularly have any interests. It's more like, if something piques my interests, I become infatuated or obsessed.
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The whole story began when I heard my cousin—who’s probably only a freshman in high school—was invited to Manchester to participate in some sort of soccer league or whateva-tha-fck it was suppose to be. Genuinely, I was happy for him that he was closing in on his dreams and about to grasp it. But also a bit jealous and bittersweet about the whole thing because I—about to graduate college, but clueless in everything I do and think about—was nowhere close to my dreams (whateva-tha-fck they are). So then, somehow, this story just happened. The two main characters are Chance and Anne ("Really? The names are so cliché," says my professor as he rubs his stubble and frowns in disdain). Chance is a world-renown soccer player (I’m not all that knowledgeable on soccer or anything, so I haven’t really decided on the team he plays for), while Anne is a wreckage-mess that just recovered the ability to walk from months of painful rehabilitation. Her doctor recommended her to live a peaceful life to prolong her lifespan and avoid an early death. He even recommends a place for her, which is situated in the highlands in Europe somewhere (have yet to decide a specific place, cause really… I procrastinated and didn’t have enough time to research a legit area). And so it just so happens that Chance owns a cabin up in that area and Anne’s family asks Chance’s family for a favor in allowing their daughter to live with Chance (although they lie and say it’s only for two or three months—why they do, I don’t know for sure, but I’ll come back and clarify that part). “She was no longer the girl that lived freely, now bound by the will of others. Her life that was already long exhausted is only being kept alive for the ignorant cause of her loved ones.”So Anne moves in with Chance and the two cohabit together. And let me just straighten some things out—Chance in no way is he a rich, snob or ignorant fool that bullies the girl he likes and yap-yap (which is probably the reason why my professor didn’t find it so cliche). Chance is the kind of guy that’s polite and respectful of the other party’s needs and space. The guy’s a your-pace-my-pace person. He’s mostly focused on training and practicing for the upcoming matches, so he doesn’t give much thought on Anne and her circumstances—also because he’s distanced himself greatly from his family (particularly his father) and so he doesn’t know anything about Anne except when he last saw or talked to her (which was like a decade or so ago, or to be more specific when they were in high school). As they live together and adjust to each other’s lifestyle, Chance begins to take notice of Anne (particularly her past and present self). He’s always comparing the two and using that to fill in the blanks in the span that he did not keep in touch with her. Their family’s are also quite close, they were even be called cousins at one point, but that was straightened out in the past for Chance’s family only adopted Anne's father into their family because her father was an orphan with no relatives wanting to take him in. “I began to wonder that perhaps she was tired of all this. After dying once, it was as if she held no more control and was reduced to a corpse by the decisions of others. It really didn’t matter, whether she lived or not, she was already dead.”Growing up in an ethnic community that associated a lot, every one knew everything too. So it was hard to hide a lot of things, especially when Anne's father committed adultery. The scandal spread fast and Anne couldn't go anywhere without being stopped and asked about her father. It was a difficult time for her as a junior in high school. Her younger brother and older sister always faced the same stress and perils as her. Even before the scandal, her parents did not get along too well with one another. When she was little, Anne remembered her family being all smiles and happy tears, but somehow along the way her parents began to fight a lot. How it all started is something even Anne contemplates to this day. As the days passed, her parents began to tolerate less things and even vented a bit on Anne and her siblings. When Anne's parents divorced, she didn't cry like her siblings (hell, even her all-might brother shed tears during his departure with their father). It wouldn't be until years later that Anne was able to shed some tears on the incident. Somehow, Anne just couldn't bring herself to shed tears because every night before going to sleep she had already thought and lived through such thoughts that it was already reality in her dreams, so the event didn't come as such a shock to her. The devastation just didn't come until she realized how cruel she was in creating such a reality that became a reality. By creating the divorce in her dreams, Anne believed she could prepare herself for the emotional onslaught when the time actually came. However, she was underestimated the power of her thoughts and feelings, the falsity of reality. "She wasn't lying when she said she was easily exhausted. As I glanced at her, I could see her struggle for control over her body. She didn't accept my support and merely brushed me off, telling me to go on ahead without her. As I walked away, continuing the steep trail up the familiar path to the cliff top, I couldn't help thinking about her again. She looked physically tired, but still pressed forward as if she was fighting a turmoil deep within her instead of a losing battle with her battered body.Every once in awhile, someone from Anne's family or group of friends would drop by Chance's home (and he alwaysnwonders how they got their hands on his address) to check up on her. During one of the many visits—when Chance just finished his miles-long jog—one of Anne's friends just arrived and came straight to visit. Usually Chance would leave the house or haul himself in his room if any of Anne's family or friends visited. However, he was extremely thirsty from his previous workout and so he sneakily makes his way to the kitchen (trying to not make a sound and alert the two in the living room). Chance's thoughts begin to wander to Anne again and he wonders what the two are talking about. Maneuvering himself to the corner in the back of the kitchen, Chance is able to get a clear view of Anne and her female friend. The two can't see him from their current position and so Chance leans against the counter and closes in on their conversation. Anne's friend, Lisa, barrels Anne with a load of questions—barely giving Anne enough time to answer properly. The questions slowly transition into comments and statements and then down-right demands. Anne simply sits there with a far-off distant look of indifference as soon as Lisa begins to rant about how to live her life. Somehow Chance begins to understand Anne's contempt towards life now. It doesn't seem like Lisa plans to stop her ramblings any time soon, so Chance picks up his mug and walks toward the two females sitting on the couch. "I'm hungry, Anne."The two females turn to look at him, one with disinterest and the other with annoyance. "Can't you see we're in the middle of something?" Lisa retorts. "Yeah... I can see that, bu—" Anne cuts Chance off by addressing her friend, "I think it's about time for you to go, Lisa. It's almost time for dinner and I need to start prepping." Lisa brightens up at this and volunteers to help, and Chance can't help but snort and think, "More like do everything." Lisa turns toward Chance to ask if she could stay for dinner, but Anne beats him to a reply before he could even open his mouth, "Lisa. I think you've exhausted your visit her already. You should go home." Lisa looks offended by Anne's statement, but her expression turns angry when she takes a good look at Anne's annoyed expression ("Which is funny..." Chance thinks because Anne had been wearing that expression since he first walked into the living room) and is about to shoot her comment down, but Anne interjects once again, "I'm fine now. I can manage on my own perfectly fine without anyone having to follow me around every moment. If I need anything... Chance is here too, so... Don't worry needlessly." Anne's expression turned sincere and soft as she spoke this, something Chance rarely ever saw. Lisa remains silent afterwards, but beings to grin mischievously even to the point of covering her mouth. "Ohhhh. I see how it is! You should've just told me you wanted to leave you so you two lovebirds could be alone!" Lisa exclaims, as she jokingly punches Anne's arm (which looked like it hurt). Chance chokes on his water upon hearing this and turns away to cough. Anne gives Lisa a deadpan look as she crosses her arms and leans on one leg, "Why, how did you know?" Chance quickly looks to Anne with wide eyes upon hearing her retaliating question to Lisa's. Lisa's smirk grows wider as she giggles into her hand, "Alright, alright. I'm leaving!" And Lisa waltz off towards the foyer, and hopefully out the door. Chance continues to stare at Anne, while Anne watches her friend leave with a skip and playful sway to her walk. "L-lovebirds?" Chance stutters to ask. Anne turns sharply towards him with the soft cushion of her socks and looks him up and down, " Should we?" The question sends Chance into a blushing fit as he attempts to cover his cheeks with one hand and avoid looking at Anne, "Uhhh, I-I don't know if, t-that's..." Chance trails off glancing briefly at the female in front of him once in awhile during his stuttering. Anne grins widely and walks past him, slapping his back jokingly, as she saunters off towards the kitchen, "That was the only way to get rid of her! Don't take it seriously~" Anne exclaims, skipping merrily with her hands clasped behind her back. Chance drops his hand covering his face and laughs along with Anne as he too makes his way towards the kitchen to help with dinner. "She was a bubbly mess after that that it was a bit contagious in of itself. We smiled and laughed throughout dinner and I felt like I was closer to her now. But when I laid in bed with my thoughts, they couldn't help but wander back to when Anne and Lisa were talking. It truly was as if those around her were dictating her life without her consent or any regards to her feelings. Somehow, I couldn't stop these feelings to sadness and pity towards Anne that night.One day, when Chance confronts Anne about why she lets others control her life, Anne turns hostile and hysteric. "Why? Why you ask?" Anne laughs bitterly, "Why, I wonder? Maybe because everything I have to say is ignored, anything I want is unnecessary. Since apparently I died once, I have no proper place in this world anymore that people feel the need to do something about this empty corpse." Chance questions why still, why she continues to let people control her life. Anne turns bitter and replies, " |