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kiyuso
☕ Partially active. Just blogging down my messy thoughts for the record and future references. Also a story writer, typically concerning my gays. I don't particularly have any interests. It's more like, if something piques my interests, I become infatuated or obsessed.
agenda
08/23 My Birthday
9/7 Hello Kitty Cafe Truck
9/28 Tour de Corgi
10/17 Brother's Birthday
10/31 Halloween
11/9 Ramen-o-Rama!
12/5 Wen's Birthday
musings
I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still. - Sylvia Plath
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Waltzing
I lost it all that day. The tips of my finger dyed of casket coloring, the emotions in my eye's stolen by immortality, the smell of withering death forever encased in my body and scent. You could tell, and pulled away—there it was, the hesitation. And in silent and solemn contempt, I ceded to disappear in the dark. Losing all my willpower to live, I go on as a walking corpse devoid of emotions. Waiting for death, waiting for the answers, I could no longer hang on to my sanity. Resigning myself for the afterlife, I offer this life to time. Always refusing him again and again, my mind still thinking about you. Desperate, he could only wait for the fruits of his plans to grow. His love, his stare, everything about him, his very presence, I couldn't stand it. Unaccustomed to this life, I could only wish for my eternal slumber. He would not let it though, forcing life into my very being every slumber. Even after I relinquished myself to rot in this room, he would not allow it. Why? This life is not his anymore; he should not be making such selfish decisions. But, what a selfish being I had been. Staring into the abyss of fluttering butterflies, I realized my actions. I caused him to be this way, I made myself like this, I made you move on. It was all my fault—and he cried in my stead as he embraced me. This warmth, unable to ignore such blatant love, I too shed tears. Only then, in the wake of my new resolve did I ever see you again. Staring from afar, I can't tell if your smiles are really genuine. Did I too, take away such divine beauty? However, seeing that man appear suddenly, every pain and grief was etched away from your face, and that dear smile spread onto your lovely face. Such beautiful contamination, I felt the corners of my mouth lifting. I'm sorry, that I bring you pain. But, I'm glad, that you are moving on and finding happiness. Just as I.
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